Butterflies & Heartbreak

October is National Perinatal Loss Month.  It is this month every year that my thoughts return to some of the most memorable moments of my entire career.  Although each delivery is beautiful, special and unique, it is often the ones that are the most heartbreaking that leave a forever mark on my heart.   

A Labor and Delivery Nurse’s perspective?  When a mother steps onto our unit worried about decreased fetal movement, every member of our team holds their breath, waiting to hear and see the fetal heart beat appear on the monitor.  For most mothers it does, but for those who have experienced the devastating silence of a heart no longer beating, I hope you know that in that moment a stillness descends on the entire unit as well.  A reverent moment is shared without any of us having to say a word, as each of us pause what we are doing in somber understanding of grief and loss.  For those who are already aware of loss, we anticipate your arrival with heavy hearts. Quiet respect is shared for you as well as for those who are chosen to provide that tender care for your family during your stay.

With a little reminding, I can recall almost every delivery I have ever had the privilege of attending.  However, it is those that share their most raw and difficult journey through delivery that I am able to recall specific details and moments with very little effort. 



Share of Idaho is a support group for those who have lost a baby. The willow tree planted near the chapel entrance of the hospital gently reminds me, each time I pass, that the care I am prepared to provide should the need arise, is priceless and the only time some will get to share with their precious and anticipated little one.

Jennifer Jonely, our Perinatal Palliative Care and Loss Coordinator, has an absolute passion and love for families experiencing loss.  She is our contact for St Luke's Butterfly's Embrace service, which is designed to assist families through their individual journey by providing compassionate support from diagnosis through decision-making process, into bereavement and beyond.  Our care and memory does not begin or end at the doors to our unit.  

Jennifer shares that the most important feature of care for families is to instill hope where previously there seemed to be none.  Hope is shifted from all the dreams a new parent experiences, to hope that their baby will live on in their hearts and in the hearts of others for a lifetime.  Hope that even though their baby's life was brief, it was meaningful and can still be celebrated.  

On October 15th, consider joining the International Wave of Candlelight to cross the world in memory of our beloved children gone too soon.  Everyone is encouraged to light a candle from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. in their own time zone. I will be lighting a candle as I remember and celebrate my own loss, as well as the life of those I met just briefly but who made such a profound impact on me.

I also encourage you to check out the Facebook group supporting our local community: St Luke's SHAREing TEARS Perinatal Loss Support Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/552565631510255/

or contact Jennifer Jonely, St Luke's Perinatal Palliative Care and Loss Coordinator directly @ 381-1807